What Makes You YOU: Building Your Brand Around Your Story

What makes you you: building your brand around your story

Hilary:

I am excited to get started to talk about what makes you, you building your brand around your story. I'm super excited to be talking today with Sanjay Shukla.

Sanjay is a certified life coach. He's an NLP practitioner and emotional intelligence coach. He is the founder of life architect, where he transforms individuals by empowering them to lead their life with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Sanjay is going to take us through a journey today to really talk about how we discover our authentic selves and discover the story that we want to build our brand around.

This really helps us from standing out in the crowd and connect and make real connections with people. So whether you're building your business, or you're building your career, this will be helpful to all of us. I know for myself as well. So a little bit of how tonight is going to go for all of you that are here.

There will be an opportunity at the end of the session to ask your questions, feel free to ask your questions while we're talking during this next hour in the chat, we will be looking at them. We may answer a few of them, but if not, we'll get to them at the end.

And if we, for some reason, aren't able to cover your questions, either me or Sanjay will reach out to you personally, and make sure your questions get answered. So, SanJay, thank you so much for being here tonight.

SanJay:

Thank you so much, Hilary. That was really overwhelming. And you know, the people coming for this energy, right?

I told you about so many times, I love being in front of people. And when there's a conversation about knowing about ourself, there's nothing else. It gives me more satisfaction than if I can mimic any, uh, any value. If I can add today, if people are more clear than what they were before this session, I'm happy and then wow.

Personal brand, right? We had been talking about it. Everybody's talking about it in the current scenario. Everybody's just thinking what should be that next step? How can I get better and, you know, be visible to more people.

Hilary:

So Sanjay, what does it mean to have a personal brand? Or why, why should we be thinking about this?

SanJay:

All right. So this is the, the question I think we have in mind, right? The personal brand right now. First thing first, I want to clear that what's this personal brand, because many people are kind of, you know, thinking about it in that perspective of the definition.

Right. But it is more deeper than it is because while we are, because we'll be covering different aspects, we will get to know what I mean with deeper understanding. But if you have to take it as a face value, what is personal brand, it is just the consistent and widely recognized, uh, the, the impression, the perception which people have about you, right?

So it goes by the definition as simple as that. But there's one thing which I want to tell people about what I feel about this personal brand. As I said, everything is deep from within what I look at personal brand. The first thing first personal brand is not an invention. It's a discovery. Right. What I mean about it?

Because the point people get to start looking outside and get influenced by people, oh, this person is doing this. It's working very well for them. Let's take this or this is trending. Let's do that. Okay. These a whole thing is good. It's good to be trending. Good to be aligned with the trends of all the people who are doing that stuff around you.

But you need to understand it's not an invention. It's a discovery. There's something which you need to discover it's already in there. Right. It just needs to bring it forward. The second thing, what I feel about personal brand that, you know, it is not based on what people want to see. Sometimes we just try to take the shape of the way people want us to see, right.

It is not what people want us to see. It is what we want to project. Okay. It is about the focus, the perception, if it is coming from outside and you are taking in and then behaving the way people expecting you to be, no, that is not your personal brand. It is inside to outside that, you know, that this is what I want to project to the world.

And this is how my personal brand would be. And this is my favorite. And I kept it very simple all my life. That personal brand is nothing more, nothing less than what you are in your inner world and what you offer to the world. That's it, there are a lot of definitions, lot of things, people will come on and saying that, all that stuff.

But if I have to be very honest and tell you that what is personal brand for me, I think it's about my inner world, what I am inside and what I'm offering to the outer world, which is outside, which I'm meeting and interacting every day. It does me about total brands.

Hilary:

That is great. And it makes sense because then you're attracting when you project, you know, who you truly are on the inside to the outside.

That's when you attract the right clients, that's when you attract your perfect job, when you're being who you are authentically meant to be, and not pretending or trying to fit in some box, you think you should be, but really, truly being yourself. That's when everything starts falling into place, so that beautiful and makes so much sense.

So what is the role of our story in building our brand? How does, how, yeah. How does that all play together?

SanJay:

Right. So like the way people look at the personal brand, it is everywhere. People have read about it, explored about it. There's something which is very famous and popular is a story, right? People keep telling about it.

I think there's nobody in the room who would deny that there's a need of a good story right now. The spirit. Where it fits into the whole perception of this, the world of creating a personal brand. As I told you, this is a world, this is me and there's outdoor world where I'm making the contribution right now.

There has to be a connection between those worlds, okay? The inner world, what you really are, the genuine self and outer world where you're making a contribution. Now, this is the connection point. Now, if I tell you what is the best way to connect with people and then the human being, I think everybody would accept that.

You know, it is a story. We are naturally you and still listening to the stories we connect with it because there are so many elements to it, which as a human, we like to be by. Right. So if it is making sense, people know personal brand is important. They know story's very crucial for that. Where does it fit in?

It fits in to make the connection between your inner world and the outer world. And to make that connection, it, hasn't got to be a story because this is what we naturally inclined to. We love to hear stories. So I think it makes sense, right? How crucial is story for us in the process of building our own brand.

Hilary:

Yeah. So how do we know what our story is or what story to choose? Because I know a lot of us probably have tons of different aspects of our life, different stories we can share. Some are more, you know, I know with me, I have some stories that are very personal and I'm like almost afraid to have that vulnerability and to share that, is that mean it's not the right story for me?

SanJay:

Yeah. How do we get to know what's our story? Or even which one we choose. Out of all these stories you have from our life. Right? I love this question because now this is getting real, right? Because we all heard, heard all those layers. We were just scratching the surface, but this is getting real because people get to know about, you know, personal branding is important.

Story's important. That is fine. Now, when they start implementing, they start looking. Right. And then they start thinking what is of value to the people? What should be my story? How should I project it? And while we have got some data, there's always, there is a noise that okay. Somebody said they were like, uh, and then suddenly something happened in their life.

Their life's changed and suddenly they became millionaire or billionaire they're making change. So what happens is with these noises around, because everybody has this story and they have been sharing all this while and some people are ahead in this journey. So they are already getting the limelight.

So what happens to us that when we are listening to ourself, we are tuned into ourselves and getting to know about ourselves, but what happens? We are getting this noise which distracts us. And then you start thinking that should I polish it this way. Should I add that element? Or should I that, should I hide this?

Because nobody's talking about this now, this is where we get it. And this particular space. I feel, uh, since the day I've been working on my self awareness, because I have been the part of this whole group. I have been listening to people getting influenced, getting too much of pressure that, you know, everybody's in their journey.

Maybe they're ahead of me. They know what they want to do. I am nowhere I'm I haven't done anything. So I just stumped this, this whole storm, which I was getting in. I just tried to stay calm and work, worked on so many things. And many of them, I can say that didn't work. Okay. Again, very proud. I'm very proud of those things that I tried and it did work, but today you don't have to take that as much of hustle and go back and start doing those things.

Because let me share from my side, what worked for me because when it gets real, when you start working on your story, this demands you to go with it. I'm telling it with so much of weight on it that it demands you to go within, right? The more you're tuned to yourself lesser would be the noise of outer world.

And here you don't need that. You need to mute the outer world. It's nice. This territory is all about you and yourself. You need to get inside right now. When I say that we have heard about introspection, we also spoke, you know, heard a lot about self-awareness right? So let me get into those territories.

The moment we're getting inside, it's all about the introspection. Oh, you have to post your resume or you just have to write a once again. It's like a profile that thing.

It's the coming back to the introspection world where we are just, and to ourselves now, two things, I advise people, right? The one is self-discovery. And the second thing is self awareness. No, even there's a confusion that, okay, what is self-discovery? What is self-awareness now let the focus on self discovery.

First, the moment you are tuned inside, you want to know your data. Now self-discovery is all about finding the data, right? It's about the collection. The process, what we do in self-discovery is called collection, right? Whereas in self-awareness, whatever we do is the reflection, right? So the collection and the reflection.

Now, if I have to focus on the collection part, what exactly you are doing here. So you need to tune yourself and look at your life story. Whatever is your age, wherever you are in your journey, you go back. And put and start collecting all the data about your incidents, your moments, your biggest fear, your biggest likes, dislikes, the incidents or memories where you felt so happy.

The old memories, wherever you are stuck and how you came out of it. Now, all this data is available to you. Nobody else can give it to you. Right? You have it. And now there's one thing. When people do this, they face this challenge. So often that, okay, what do you pick? What to lose? What? To, you know, give it away what to hide.

So all that filtering process, I would just say there's only one filtering criteria. First. If you still remember that it is important to you. I repeat myself. If it is important to you, if you still remember it, it is important to you. If it is important to you, that's it. We don't need any validation from anybody else, because what happens, we have like thousand times more data, which we have been receiving in our life, maybe a million times, but we still remember only a few things, right?

We don't remember so many things in life because that was not important. Right? So if you go back, you tune into yourself, you go back to your life and start collecting those memories and datas about your incidents, everything, what you could remember, bring it on the table and don't filter anything out because if you still remember it, high chances that it is important.

There's some meaning out of it right now. Once you have done this self discovery, all the data is on the table. I've come to the self-awareness part. As I said, it is the place where we do reflection, what reflection means and what via trying to achieve with this is the data which we have collected. Now we want to see the patterns.

Okay. Now we are trying to make stories out of it. The kind of knowledge, the kind of, uh, exploration about ourself. Let's say if I had to give example, let's say if I had seen myself whenever. No pressure. Okay. Break down. If I see there's all of these. Yeah. I, whenever there was pressure, it's a natural tendency that I was breaking down, but there was one incident I saw that I was feeling so powerful that I could defy all the challenges.

I could do something, which I thought it was unbelievable. Now that data is important. If you see there are some other evidences or other incidences where I have done the same, now I'm seeing the pattern. Then I went back and started exploding other data around that particular incident. And I realized, and this is my real story, by the way, because I have been, I think the heart, most part of my life, very low, confident and shy guy always had questions about me.

Am I enough? Am I enough? Right. I couldn't even be able to speak, but this particular data made me think that how come I behave differently in those incidents? There was one thing I could never see my people. If they are expecting out of me that I should concur this challenge, I do it. And this is what was pushing me all this while.

So I picked it up that this is my gym, right? Because if there was situation where I thought I could never do it, I was able to do it because there was somebody who was expecting something from me. I can never let my people down. And then I found, this is one pattern. So you've got my point, right? Do self discovery, go back and pick up all the data, what you have, don't filter anything.

If you remember it, use it is important for you and then reflect on it. You'll find a lot of patterns and then start noting down all the patents yourself. You don't need anybody probably for the, the, the framework or the way it is designed. Step-by-step or privilege to cut down the noise. You need somebody, right.

But you have all the data, you know what it is. And while you're making a pattern out of it, right, you just need to focus that ultimately. People do it all the time. I just keep telling on their face and I meet them that, you know what, you don't have to make sense out of it from the perspective of others, if it makes sense to you, that is the ultimate truth.

Hilary:

That's awesome. Okay. And how so? So I get the, I guess my question is when you're doing like gathering this data and kind of really doing the discovery of, of, you know, all our stories, all our memories, how much time do you put into this? Is this like a one day thing where you take a day and reflect? Is it something that you recommend people do over time?

Does it depend? I know with me sometimes I like to sleep on things so I can imagine like, you know, when I'm really looking at, okay, how am I going to build my personal brand? What's the story, story, the patterns, right? If I'm starting this first process, which is the kind of, kind of really discovering. How much time could I take and when is it too much time?

Cause I could also see, uh, me myself as well, where I just like kind of get stuck in this like data collection and then maybe, maybe not go into the analysis part of it. So what do you recommend for someone who wants to get started and really kind of start discovering the self and being aware of themselves?

SanJay:

Good one, because it's a very practical question. The person who has spent some time doing it, they will definitely have this. I face it. Everybody who has done this introspection or self of inner journey, they definitely have melted that. Am I doing it too much? Or I might just not doing right. Or am I just doing too little?

What amount of this? So to answer this, I'll just rest it too very much in a very calm state by saying that that two things two lines, the first is you will never be able to get the complete clarity. Okay, so let's reduce the burden off your shoulders. That, okay. Fine. Okay. Fine. All right. The second thing is how long we need to wait to get started.

Zero. We need to get started right now. You don't have any time. So don't put yourself into pressure that, you know, I have to get so much clarity. This is me. Oh yes. This is my story. Now I can get started and start building my personal brand journey. Know that we'll always be keep on refining.

Okay. You'll keep getting more and more clarity. You don't have to wait on it so fast to use the pressure. And the second is that you don't have to wait that, okay. Some people say, should I go first and do this self exploration, self discoveries of awareness. Once I get to a point, then I start my personal branding journey.

I would say. Okay. So if I have to just give from my example, I spent 12 years in it. Okay. I was the cloud architect. I loved helping my clients to find their IT solutions. So while I was doing that, I love that thing to score. Okay. And when I started my career, I thought I'm making a better place by, you know, doing those programming and coding stuff.

So that time that was my clarity. And I was able to do everything. I succeeded. Then I got some more clarity. Oh, probably it is a very distant thing. I want to get more closure to make lines so that I can see that expression. So the whole circle of me putting efforts and they're realizing they're the change and happiness is going to complete.

Then I started giving it solutions. Then I realized, no, probably I have the better understanding about life than machines, about human than machines, then why I'm just giving ideas solutions rather they should give life solutions. Right. So if I would have been waited to get this class. Okay. And I'm not stopping at here.

Even when I started my own company as a life coach, many people have been asking that, okay, what's your niche where you're going to work? What exact people are going to work? I said, what about clarity? I have, I'm just going to get started. I will get more and more clarity along the way. Right? So I hope that answered your question, that, you know, what, what are I, what amount of time?

I think probably you don't have to wait for it. And can you get a hundred percent clarity? Probably never. So keep getting the, this process in your life. It has to be a routine. It has to be a part of your life. You have to keep doing it. And reflection is a very natural process. It happens automatically, right?

You, if you spend time, you get the data automatically about you. Reflection is a natural thing. So keep doing this thing whenever you get a chance.

Hilary:

That's that's great. I think I talk about that a lot. When I'm talking to people, coaches, people are building their business or, you know, trying to discover that ideal client and it's the journey.

It's a continue lean process that you do. So it's not like you do it once and oh, I'm done. I'm self discovered. I'm aware and here's my brain in a box complete. Now I don't have to look at it for 20 years. So it's a continuing process that you build as you're adding on to your personal brand. And it makes sense, right?

Because if you're, you know, we're all active in life, we're all continuing to do things. It's not like we're stuck at this point in time forever. And so I can see it changing and altering too. So that's great. So it's kind of exactly more of a journey than just a okay. Done complete. Now we don't need to worry about it anymore.

SanJay:

And then you rightly said, because then, then the moment we start putting things this way that you know, I'm done. Okay. I got discovered myself. This is going to be my life purpose, because you would have heard this thing, the purpose of life. So the moment people start getting to this journey of self discovery, self awareness, they want to know their life purpose.

Right. And I think people are killing themselves to finding their purpose. And I am way by saying that I'm just putting the pressure off them, that this process can't be tiring. This process, it's fun. This process is all about enjoying what you are. So only people are finding it tiring and they are getting too much, you know, uh, overwhelmed when they think about their life purpose.

For two reasons, one they're looking at outside still, they are tuned to the outer when I'm thinking, oh, that person got it. Or that person got it. Oh, that person also got it. Right. But the moment you are inside still, you are thinking that, okay, I should get the clarity. And then after one week or two week or one month or a year, you think, no, probably this is not it.

Oh, I visited my, no, it never happens. You don't, you're not wasting anything. As I said, 12 years, I did in my job, I probably would have said to my father. Why you forced me to start this it job. I wanted to work with human. I told you, right, you wasted my 12 years, but I didn't didn't have this discussion because I told them I was happy all the way, because whatever clarity I had that time I was giving my best.

And today I got better clarity and I'm very sure in the coming years, I will get more clarity. And then my purpose will also get narrowed down, get completely fine tuned. Right? So whatever clarity you have, just get going. I think this is the way forward. That's beautiful. So as you start recognizing these patterns, then what's because patterns, aren't stories, right?

Patterns are patterns. And what's where, where do I go from here? So I have, you know, kind of the idea, my discovery of my life and what it's looked at. I'm starting to see some patterns in my life. And then now. Exactly exactly. This is the stage we reach. Once we, as you said, right, we went inside, got this whole staff going, and then we got some clarity, some patterns.

Now what next right is the natural next step, which we ask about it. Now that I've got so much data in front of me, this is right. And I'm not assuming that you have done it very nicely. Okay. That, you know, and if I have to tell what is right or wrong, first of all, we don't think that there's a right or wrong.

That word has been so misused or abused thing is if you feel it, it is right. It is right. That's it. Right. There's nothing like absolute truth. That is a versions of it floating around. Right. So now when you got the deal. Okay, then you've got the pattern. And now this pattern, let's say one of the patterns says as I I'll take my example, I continue on that, that I found that, okay.

Maybe I'm not that confident or maybe I'm a bit afraid of that kind of guy. But if I am having my people around me and they are expecting me to get this thing done, I become something else. I can't let them down. So I just give something which makes me up, you know, do wonders right now. This is the pattern idealized.

Okay. Now, similar to this, there will be so many patterns. You will realize that. Okay. I, whenever I'm in, in front of nature, I am like completely different person. Okay. And there's something like, okay, fine. Never I'm working with machines. I'm not that good. I hate it. Okay. I need this human interaction.

Right? Some people love to talk. Some people want to sit in isolation in their room close and the focus to create wonderful things, right? Not, you are getting this pattern. Not when it comes to less exam, let's say you have done this step well, and now you get some 5, 10, 15, or 20, you know, patents in front of you.

And what it is telling you, these patents are telling you about you. Okay? What basically about you on the surface, you always knew who you are, your name, your identity, your role title, all that thing, right? Your roles. Basically, you are a father. You are as a brother, all that thing you would know. Now the deeper one we'd get explored that these are my values, my core values.

This is what defines me. This is what, uh, you know, uh, helps me to make my decisions. This is a, these are my priorities. These are my belief system, right? That's my mindset. That's my likes. That's my dislikes. You know, that, that tears me up that, you know, seriously makes my spice, my mood. Right. So when you're getting this thing, these are the things which helps you to design your life.

Okay. Now, once you reach here now, then I'll get into the detail in the coming, uh, section where I'll be talking about the framework, but just to get it that in the continuation of this value, our understanding about your life and everything, because the moment you start thinking about story, why you want to create a story around it, because you want to have a connection with someone, right?

They're still very much inside us. You haven't come out. Okay. You're still exploring. We got patents. We understood. This is my life. And I'm very happy with it. The story comes when the connection starts to happen. So a few factors there'll be a lot of factors, but just to understand sometime with whom you are connected, That plays a big role.

How much time you have, I can spend a David, you and I can tell you about my story, no pressure. I don't have to be very precise and very impactful two lines I have to say, right? Because I have the luxury of time. Right. And some people would be very much judging because there are platforms where people will be judging.

Let's say, if I'm on the stage talking to people, this is a tendencies that people will judge you. Right. And some bad, let's say my family, my father and mother, all the people, when they listen to me, my daughter, she never does it. She has whole time of the world. Right. She can listen to me on and on.

Right. So what I'm telling you is I explored about myself. I know who I am. Right. And then the moment I, it comes to the connection who I am. what time I have. Right. These are the factors. But yeah. Now let's say you have understood. Now you're coming to the front. I'm just thinking one example, but I'll come in detail.

When I talk about the framework, how to create that story. Okay. Now what exactly is story story? Why we all like it? Because there's a context, first of all right. So it was 10:00 PM in the night. It was windy. It was raining something. So people start being there. They are with you mentally, right. Setting.

The context is one thing. The second thing is your characters. Okay. So when you're talking about you, you have already got the data about the important people in your life, right? Maybe your friends, your parents, your family, whoever, right. Or some mentor or some person who changes change your life by saying something special.

Right? So what happens? You've got the context, you got the right set of people. And then of course you are the protagonist in your story. So you'll behave like one. Okay. You are the hero. You can't start your story and tell about somebody else. And then you forget about yourself. You are going to be the center of it.

Now the third one, the last one that you need to give the message. Right. So it's like a buildup the first one. And then the message comes. So this process, if we have, let's say two minutes, so let's say I have one minute, I will still follow the same process. Or if I have like full day or a month to spend with someone to tell my story, then still I will be taking it the same route.

Okay. So what makes your story impact or the, the great connection point is when it is authentic thick, and when it is consistent, but for you to answer at this point, boy, what happens that you got the data? You've got the pattern now you understood what makes you, you, you are this person. And now if you have to get a story, get the context, get the characters, important ones, get, keep yourself in the focus and then the message in your life, whatever patterns you got, you would know how to connect the dots.

It's all about connecting the dots because data is everywhere. The pattern already visible to you. Right. You know, what has to be the message? Let's say, if I have to say it, let's say, if I continue with that, that I can never let my people down. Okay. My people, my expect the people expect from me, this is my main force, main power.

This is driving me all the time. So at the end, my message would be something like that, that, you know, what, whatever I do to make my people happy. And the moment I see smile in their face, I'm done. I'm like, oh my God, this is the life I want to do. Okay, maybe this is the message. Okay. This two lines. So if somebody would just give me two minutes, I would still end up at this line, but giving a context, I've seen all the hardships I've started from very low bottom game till this point all the way.

There are few mentors and my parents, especially my brother and my special wife helped me to become what I am today. And for today, what matters to me is to make my people happy by doing whatever it can. And the moment I see happiness in them, I'm done. I'm happy. This is my life. So it's two lines, the two minute thing or one minute or maybe 30 seconds.

Right. But if I get the full chance, probably my context will be more greener. I can paint the pictures, right. Where I started, where all I've been, all those people. I can explain a bit more about them, my wife, but how we met, how we, you know, started the conversation, my mentors, who are they have done. Right?

So you got my point, right? Patterns, your data. And then just get the context and those people around you are the center of the story and get your messages.

Hilary:

So I have another question for you because I know for myself, I I'm, I'm very happy with who I am and I know there's some patterns in there I'm either not proud of or I'm embarrassed by, or I, I, yeah, I, I don't know if I'd even want to share.

And so as we're like, what do we do? Do we include these patterns? I mean, obviously we want to be aware of them and maybe it's the battle of overcoming them. I'm like, this is why I love self reflection. And self-growth self-growth is because as you come aware of them, maybe it's like, oh, I don't really, that's not a very nice pattern.

Ooh, ouch. Maybe I don't want to leave people feeling that way. And it's still a part of being human. I think all of us probably have patterns like that. What do we do with those type of patterns that, that maybe don't leave us? Feeling as good. And I can even imagine sometimes, you know, the human brain is just built to look at the negative.

It's just, this is why gratitude journals work so well because as you train your brain to have gratitude, your brain becomes more positive. So if you don't have that training, if you, if you haven't been, you know, kind of focusing on the positive and you tend to slide more towards more negative, you may look at these patterns and you may have more that you dislike than you.

Like, what do we do with those as we're kind of building this, this journey of ours.

SanJay:

Lovely. This is, this is getting now very intense because you speak about it. Many people have shared the same thing that you know what, there are patterns, which I am not comfortable sharing with people. I know it's core to my story, but how should I say it?

It makes me vulnerable. It makes me look lesser than what I want to project. And then there are some things I probably think it won't matter. Why should I tell it anyway? Right. So when the people get stuck in this, I just tell them one single thing you're thinking about others. Okay. You're thinking about others.

So what I said then, when, what makes you, you, when we say this, it is important for you to be in your own territory fast. Okay. You explode when you, as I told you, right. That once you're tuned in, you're not letting any external noise coming in. Okay. So all these things that, you know, it won't make sense.

People won't like it, it will make me want to rebel. People might think that I'm this. People might think that, first of all, what if I like it though? What if I don't I'm coming to that because let's say the second aspect of it, because first thing is it is coming from that perspective. Now, second, what I told you that if it is important to you, okay.

If you still remember it is important to you, this is first. Okay. So I'm saying everything. Let's say I had an incident, very embarrassing event. Okay. I don't, you know, I still remember it, but not for the good reason. Okay. Do I need to tell that? Probably not. So, as I said, when you're combining your story, the ultimate message is.

Do this fit in because I had a lot of failures to share, but in my story, anyway, am I giving the reflection? But sometime too, for the buildup, the two examples, as I said, there are embarrassing moments. I'm not covering it. All right. I still remember it for wrong reasons. I haven't had any use in my messages story.

I didn't use it, but there will be that doesn't mean that you have to ignore or filter out all the negative ones or the bad ones or the embarrassing ones, like for the biggest one, which I think I've used in so many stages that once I was on the stage in front of my juniors in school, that was our farewell.

We are passing out from the school. I was favorite. I, they loved me. Like anything I can tell you that, okay. They asked, they were like some rounds where we have to go on stage and do something last stone. I had to speak something in English. I was not at all good in English. I was like pathetic in that.

And I just froze and they were just begging. I could see from their eyes, they were like, just say one word. And Mr. Ferrella, what is yours? You are not our favorite senior. I just led them down. That completely destroyed my confidence. That one line, I couldn't speak in English. And that why keep telling about this?

Because now I speak in front of thousands of people. And I remember that day, because that day I let my people down that connects too with my story. Right. Because that was embarrassing. Most embarrassing moment. I can say that. Right. But this changed everything because that amount of energy, which I got though, it was negative.

I convert it into positive and made it this big. So coming back to your question, there will be a lot of embarrassing or bad moments, or probably you don't want to use it, right. If you still remember it, just think, what is the pattern? Why you still remember it. Right. And the second one, which I said, if it makes sense to you, it is ultimate.

So when I say that your judgment says, I don't want to share it, then it is the ultimate truth. You have no, uh, you know, competition. You don't have to go out there and share, okay, because if you're not comfortable, it doesn't matter how much some personal branding or the champions will talk to you. And experts will punish you to just be out there and speak ye to not fall in the right place.

They will never hit the cord. People will never get connected with you because you're not comfortable with yourself. Right? So this is what I tell people, focus on yourself. I know that it is hardly impossible to just mute all the noises. You will get it, but you are the one who is in charge. You decide what to tell what not.

Right. And the moment it makes sense to you. Like I tell a lot of stories about my vulnerability that I have been going through this and that and all those things, why I'm comfortable sharing this. The moment I heard this from one of my mentor that you know what people don't want to see how great you are.

People want to see how much I can relate with this person. Right? So I was just sat there in that, you know, this is what I achieved. I did this, I did that and all that stuff. And I was hiding my pain and emotion and failures and everything. Then I realized, yes, people don't want to see that because if let's say I am in my journey, I am struggling so many events, anybody in the journey, if I am this far, there are people stuck there who are going through that storm.

So if I tell them I have been there, this is what I used to feel like, like genuinely they'll connect. Oh, this guy knows about me. So it's still, it's embarrassing or negative emotions or bad moments of my life, but still I want to put it out there. So who are, who is in charge? You are in charge. If you feel it's right, you don't need any validation.

You don't need an expert to tell you that you should include it or not included. That's what's great.

Hilary:

And I, you know, as you're speaking this, I have to say when I share my embarrassing moments. So I was, I was, uh, I'm part of a coaching group for people with children because surprise being a parent is extremely hard.

And when I share the, I was having a really hard week and I just wasn't liking who I was being. And when I was sharing that vulnerability with the group, Everyone had been in that place at one time or another. And our connection became deep because it wasn't talking about a lot of times with parenting it's, especially on social, you just get the perfectness of it, like, oh, these kids are perfect.

They're beautiful. I want to create a social media account that just shows the realness of, of being a parent. But we, that I was vulnerable and just honest with what was going on, the connection was deeper. So I, I see the value of having these vulnerable moments and I like what you said, you're in control.

So it's like, I can choose if there's one that I don't want to share, then don't share it. But there is some value of not sharing. Like people don't want to hear how great you are. They want to, I hear that you're a human being like they are. And that's how you build that connection.

SanJay:

Right. Glad you said, there's this last, last line, right?

You're human. This is what you need to be in front of people. You just need to be human. And there's one thing if I can add every time when I get into the conversation, people ask me about, okay, let's say if we are talking about how to build a personal brand on LinkedIn or the Instagram or Facebook, any of those platforms, right.

I keep telling them one single thing. Remember this thing. And all the ways know that whoever is at the receiving end is a hero. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. What platform are you talking in front of them straight face to face? Or are you talking in front of chatting or the call or via your posts?

Stories, real stick talks, whatever. At the end, whatever medium, it will travel to. It will reach to a human beings. So it's a human to human conversation. It's not complex. Okay. There are a lot of algorithms in between, which makes it very funny at times. Right. So, but at the end, you know, it, you just played this algorithm game, but you always remember this, that it's a human to human interaction after.

Hilary:

All right. That makes it really simple. That's great. That's great. And then earlier Sanjay, you were talking about a framework to build the story story in this patterns. Will you tell us more about your framework and how we can kind of start building our stories for when we are talking with people?

Sure, sure, I can do that. And there's, there's one element. Normally I tell people upfront that all the work which I will be doing and all the work, which I'll be talking about, there's always at the end, there's a practical step by step thing. Otherwise, because I had been dead in the journey, right. I can be one among you and say, I have heard a lot of, uh, knowledge it's everywhere.

People are coming up with so much of stuff. And the internet is full of that. I have been there. I was like felt, they know I was getting shocked by that. So much of knowledge and the more and more knowledge I get without the knowledge of how to implement it, right. Without the clarity of how I can put it into practice.

And not that, you know, the finding the purpose of life for me, it is important. What is my next step? What exactly I need to do just after logging off from this meeting or session. Right? So this is where I focus because I have been there. I felt the pain. So whatever I be telling, I will be telling something, which you can just disconnect from this call, go back and start implementing it.

Okay. Great. So with that thought, uh, let me share my screen so that people can also have a luxury to visualize a bit when I speak.

Right. So these are exact thing which I was telling you about. Doesn't matter. People tell me that you know, that the human brain is complex. I tell them it is still having some patterns, which you can understand. Technology has no pattern.

Clarity, connection and contribution in branding



Now this is the framework. I call it three C framework, which I have designed for this personal branding thing. Yeah. Okay. And now what is the first one? Clarity. Okay. We discussed about it and of course, we'll go in detail after this, but I just want to put it in front of you first. That what are these three Cs?

Okay. The first is clarity. The second is connection. Okay. And the third is contribution. Clarity. Yeah. Is everything about you, your inner world, what you are, what makes you you, right. Connection is in between your inner world and outer world. Okay. And the contribution is everything about what you offer to them.

Because personal branding can be just about you. You are getting your name and fame because the moment people look at you, right? They're looking at you for something they're expecting something for something, right? Whatever you have projected, why are your connection? This is where they come to you and then you make contribution to them, right?

So when you do these three, it ultimately results into your personal brand.

Clarity in personal branding

So if I have to go in detail now, clarity is that aspect where I spoke about that, where you need to go deep within introspect and come up with those first by doing the self-discovery. I didn't think much about using those dots, but let me tell you, I still see that those darker circles might be those intense ones, those lighter ones.

I like the light funny ones. And the bigger is the biggest, uh, the most refreshed ones, you know, memory. When we go to discovery, we get these kinds of memories or incidents like that. They're lying everywhere. When we close our eyes, we start getting connected to that. We will pick up those incidents and we can just lay out on the table.

And here it is, all the data in front of you by doing the self discovery process. And then the bottom ones. This is where the things started getting pattern. We have filtered out some, we have got some, we have taken the important ones, the big ones in front of us, because this is what is important for us.

And selfless self awareness is all about reflection. Okay. You reflect on your data. You reflect on your memories, you reflect on your people. What are the interactions you had now this we have already explained. So you, this is clear for you that this clarity at the end gives you the complete knowledge of what makes you you right now, the second part.

Connection in personal branding

Now, the moment you get into this connection phase, you are actually start approaching the outer world. Okay? Now the moment you start looking in front of the people, there is one thing, everything you do, like a normal conversation or a presentation or a show or anything you put on display, any act of expression, any act of expression, is that a glide to get this connection built?

And what I mean by this act, A. C. T., so it's Authentic, Consistent helps you build the Trust. And this is something I can tell you about human brain. Doesn't matter how much, uh, fascinated or impressed or happy we are about certain thing, but nothing beats that the intensity of that emotion called fear, the survival instinct, the, you know what, if you are not feeling safe, nothing else works in our mind, right?

Our logical brain shuts off. So you don't tell me that. Okay, whatever I do, I just give so much value to people that they are going to come to me. No, if you will not make them trust, who are they? If you are not trust to at the end, you feel not make them comfortable or safe in your presence. Forget about any other thing that you have in your store after that.

Right? So when I say that, now the moment you have kept this authenticity and consistency intact, this will result to the trust you will get from the people. Then once this connection established, then you can suitcase what you have to do. Right, but this is required for getting the connection done. Now that two elements in connection, which I always love the first is the self-expression.

What do I mean by a self-expression now there's one thing you would have heard many times and let me put it very simplistic way. I encourage people and I encourage everyone who is listening to me here that always try to express, not impress. Yeah. Everybody act you are doing is you are speaking with people trying to express, not impress.

And I'll tell you why, why I'm saying that, because let's say you, you have collected, you have done the self discovery process. You have got so much of incidents memories. Now you've got the patterns in that, that, uh, it happened that, you know, every time that people were, we were put in a pressure situation and I was with another people.

Everybody was afraid, not afraid. And I was afraid. So in that process, if I want to impress others, what I'll do as well, Right. But the thing is, if you are genuine and you're listening to yourself, you know, that you are afraid. So rather than impressing anybody and wasting any time to just be compliant to everyone's expectation, rather just put your focus on getting expressed.

So tell when you feel fear, tell you expressed, right? Because this is going to contribute to your authenticity. Just imagine what, what would this authentic authenticity would look like if you are not expressing yourself? And you're just trying to impress others where you're pretending to be something which will be like in compliance with other people's expectations.

Right? So the first time rule of getting this authenticity done, you need to get into the self-expression mode, where you are doing everything to just express and not improve. Okay. Download the second part where exactly, I think you were getting into that, you know how to package this story. They, this one liner or this just to two minute thing, and then everybody will be like, oh my God, this is impressive.

Right? I like this person. So this is the packaging part. Now let's say self-expression is not enough. If you are having this authentic expression and you are consistent as well, you are continuously doing it every day, because what happens is there's like 99 times you have been behaving in a certain way.

And one time you just figured it, or you just did it, which is not true to yourself. It creates a doubt. People get confused. Right. Even if you do it 1% wrong, people get a confusion or a doubt on your personality and it effects. It's like a balloon of trust gets a pin. Boom, you're done. Right. So this is how important it is.

So because sometimes people say how consistent I need to be. I like, sometime I am like this. Sometimes I'm like I said, consistent means consistent. You have to be exactly the same all the time. So just get into the expression mode, whatever comes to your mind, whatever, you're the way you're feeling. Just keep expressing.

Okay. Now, if I get into this expression mode, what do I mean by self packaging? So you remember when I told that, you know, sometimes you'll get one minute or 30 seconds to a minute, or, you know, a platform requires, um, just 30 seconds you have gotten your instead of yours. Right? So when the situation comes, this is when it becomes so crucial and important to make it precise and get it back.

So, this is what I mean when I say self packaging. So you should know what should go to the people. As I told my story, I discovered three steps, four steps message. Done. Right? So it's still, it makes the complete sense, right? Now, self packaging is even more important in today's era because there's so little concentration span of our people.

Yeah. Because as I told you, the noise is everywhere, right? People are everywhere. They are getting to see people everywhere. So many people they're telling their stories, they're developing their brand, right? So what happens is if you are not packaging it, well, you will miss this. You are a wonderful person.

We know that you are authentic, you are consistent, but the amount of focus you got from other people, you missed it because you are not precise or impactful. You haven't packaged it as per the needs of the person. So that is required to get that connection. Right now, I'm just not, I'm just going to a certain level of depth.

So just to make the sense out of it, but probably if somebody has any questions, I can answer it towards the end, but I'm just restricting myself to not go too deep because we just got behind here to cover everything. Right. Cool. Now this is the third one, the contribution. This is the fun part. I love this one.

Contribution in personal branding

Now the contribution is all about what you have got to offer to this world. What change you're bringing, how you're making this world a different, a different place to be right now, there are two things. One is gift, and one is. Okay. I put it as a very, um, uh, practical or business words here, because I tend to go always a bit in emotional side and talking about psychology, talking about all those things.

Because once we get to know about it, everything is aligned. But for the simplicity, now that we are not in a whale anymore, we got the connection. Now we are facing the world, right. So I'm going to talk the language, which the outer world would understand. Okay, now there's a gift. Okay. I put it as good because I love this word.

The other word for this is the purpose or the passion, right. People keep using this and it makes people feel so heavy. Okay. So unless it is required to put this much of it, I would say don't use that word. I would just make it a bit simple. A kid would understand a gift. So what I mean, I might, what do you mean?

What do I mean by what is gift? So every one of us is born, but. Potential baby in raw form or something is getting completed with all the period of time, wherever we are focusing, but we need to admit it. And it's a fact, there's no, uh, arguable discussion on this that some would agree. Some would not.

Everybody has got a set of potentials and talents in everyone right now, when I say you need to find your gift, it is like this, whatever. I know that I am good at or whatever, you know, is my passion or, you know, I love doing it. I'm good at it. You need to make the lesson, set it up. That what is the best thing, the best gift I have.

Okay. So let's say mine is that I realize over the period of time, that whatever complex problem you throw at me, I always make sense out of it and make it simple when I explain people. Okay. So there's one of my like passion project where I'm learning the human brain. And I know that this is going to take ages, but I want to make it so simple by the, of.

Comic stories are nice fun thing. The brain and heart are like having conversations and just to put everything out there, what science has to tell, but in a very nice comical or story way. Okay. But now this is my gift. What happens? I'll tell you when people start getting to know about their gift, their passion, their purpose, what they're good at again, this external noise makes them feel.

Let's say if, if I have to tell myself I was young, I was very good in playing cricket. I was very mad about that sports. The moment I used to tell people that, you know, what, if somebody will ask me, what is your gift? I would say, I'm a great cricketer. And then the next thing will be, people will be saying that, oh, there are so many we're better than you.

And then that narrative has taken space in my mind. Everything I do. Let's say if I'm, I love to sing, but I did the second moment. I think that there's so many people who are better in singing. Oh, there are so many people who are better in dancing. So every gift, when I touch, I feel that there's somebody else who's doing it better.

Right. So what perception people generally have about gift that a talent, which we have, which is better than most of others in the world. I want to break this myth right now, right here, that now it's not the competition between you and the world. It's just, you, you need to look within yourself and list out all the talents and in that talent, what is your best thing?

And that is what you should probably offer to the world. Right? And there's one thing that people sometimes say that, you know, I used to get this word that, you know, there's so many good, better cricketers, uh, in the, in the, in the world. Right. I used to tell them the moment they got to know what is a gift it's.

Uh, highly impossible that you will not focus there in your gift. The moment I realized that I love cricket everyday. I wanted to play cricket. Isn't it. Everybody has this thing. Let's say tomorrow, you'll figure it out. Some new talent in you or something that you love to do. You can take your focus away from them, right?

And second fact of life that, you know, wherever you focus, it grows. Correct. So it may be some people, whoever is better than me, they have identified this gift earlier than me, and then they focused on it. They became better than me, right? So it's not, it's not about the fight that I became. Life coach at 33 and somebody became a 21 or 44.

It doesn't matter the day. You realize your gift, start building on it and then take it to a level where you can start offering to people and start making the difference.

Hilary:

Yeah, right. Yeah. And I, you know, I would add to that Sanjay is that we're all unique and different. So maybe someone is better at something than you, but it doesn't mean they can deliver it to the same people that you could connect with.

They may not have the connection to the same group of people that you have the connection to. They may not have the similar abilities. So maybe like, yeah, top cricket stars. Maybe won't be able to teach cricket to young kids who will next be the top stars. They don't, they're missing that skill piece. So it's so easy to compare ourselves to each other.

SanJay:

Right? Like we're all unique individuals and it's that unique. That really can bring about like, sharing that gift, that other people, even if they are better, better than you are in the gift will not be able to deliver it to the way you will or to who you will be able to deliver it to. Fantastic.

Excellent. And I'm thankful to you because you just saved my time because this is exactly, I mean, by USP, I will not go into detail. You saved my time because I just repeat what you said for other people that USP, now that you got the gift, what is the USP? Unique Selling Point and exactly what you said.

And this is a fact it's again, not an arguable thing. Every human being is unique. Right. And that the science proves it because the way you have seen the world, the experiences you had, the kind of knowledge you had, the exposure, you have. Everything makes you a very unique personality. So the way you are looking at this world, nobody else can look at the same way.

Right? So why in the world of, well, we have already Tony Robbins and then, um, you know, the Jay Shetty and then Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates. So many of the people, but they're different people at tries different tribes. Some people, if they'd love motivation, they like some people like Tony Robbins, some people like, uh, maybe Jay Shetty, why does happening?

Because they have got something unique in them. And this is what is connecting with that kind of people. So whoever is rating, I'm just talking to the people who were in the process of building their personal brand. I'm telling you get the clarity first. Okay. Once you get the clarity, get your focus in getting this connection done in the form of.

clarity connection and contribution create personal brand

Okay. Everything has to be done to just express what you are and you will find your tribe. You will find your people because you really have got the gift. There's no question about it. Whoever is questioning is just shut them off because this is not, the fact fact is you have got the gift and you have something unique to give to this world because I had this question myself, that there's so many life coaches out there, what different I'm bringing to the people.

And this is when I realized the way I have looked at this world, the way I have lived my life, probably nobody. I probably would. Nobody has done it for sure. Right? So I have something unique. That is why it is important to go out there and offer to these people, right? Maybe as an individual or as an employee or as a businessman or as a product owner, anything doesn't matter who you are, wherever you're living.

If you are living in the planet, when you have people around you, you need to, and you must build your personal brand. And this is how you need to do. Right. So I think this is all I wanted to share. I love going deeper, but for the sake of the time, I just wanted to be on the surface. I hope it made sense.

And I didn't rush to the things. And, uh, yeah, this is it from my side.

Hilary:

Beautiful Sanjay! Well, I know we're at the end of our time, but I wanted to ask you, um, do you have a time, like 10 minutes to stick around for questions for people who have questions?

SanJay:

Oh, well, we'd love to. For that long. I would love to answer it afterwards as well.

Hilary:

Perfect. Well for everyone else, if you have to go, thank you so much for being here. I do want to mention that Sanjay has a group course coming up on Introwise, that actually talks about creating your brand story. So I'm going to drop a link Sanjay. Can you tell us more about what this 90 minute group course is going to look like this group session?

SanJay:

All right. So this, as I said, the knowledge is knowledge. Okay. I'm not a big fan of just sharing knowledge. Okay. I want, when we get, get our hands dirty, we get into this, you know, when we have working together and creating our story. So when I came up with this, it's just nine people. Okay. What we do, what we tend people do.

And I'm not like sitting at the higher chair and people are like, like we all are sitting in one chair, then people we start from the clarity. I you going connection we come to this contribution we dive in deep. And it just not about a standard template or standard knowledge. We go into the personalized way of doing things, right?

I have been doing it with one-on-one with so many people. That's the fun part. The people can be like, feel so open. They can just tell me each and everything about them. They can keep putting data. Okay. You imagine that self-discovery thing, right? Keep putting data, everything they find, they enjoy it. Then I have them with finding the pattern and everything.

Now why I'm doing it with the group of people, because in past I've seen the results have been far better than we have done it together because as I. Sanjay Shukla has alone time also having one single unique perspective, right? But on other people they're seeing it from different ways, right? So when one person is on the focus, all these nine people are actually giving their unique perspective and their story and their uniqueness.

And then whatever comes out in that session, in that workshop, that everybody gets better in their understanding. They have a very good connection points. They can very well. They go this just connect with people and then they start making the contribution. And this is what if they do consistently, they're going to be a person.

Hilary:

That is great. So this is on Saturday. It's the same time that this webinar started and yes, there is only nine spots available. So if you're interested in joining, it's only $9, which I try to convince him to raise his price. I think I I'm going to have to jump in at the $9. So, uh, definitely get in. If you find that the spots are not available and you want to join, you can reach out to SanJay or me.

We will figure something out. Maybe we'll do another session and Sanjay. I'm also just going to share your Introwise page as well. If anyone wants to work with Sanjay, he does business, coaching, life coaching. Uh, he has a free discovery call. So if you want to connect with him and find out more what it's like to work with him, please do on Introwise.

So thank you so much. So for everyone who has to go, we understand you have to go and then otherwise let's stick around for questions. I know we had some questions come in and one I wanted to cover. Let me see if I can find it again. I lose it.

Here, how does one maintain consistency in the wake of the emerging clarity with ongoing reflective journey? This is great. So you talked about being consistent, but at the same time, this is also an ongoing journey that's changing and evolving. So what do we do about all that? Have you heard of this?

SanJay:

Something on moving. Okay. Some people are not very much, you know, um, uh, comfortable with this concept of moving target. Okay. So they have certain things to achieve and then there's go and finish it. And it's just not their problem. The people divide the way our society is there. Right. We always have this.

Okay. This is the standard. Go to school, finish this, get this degree, get this job. So everything is like very much fixed, fixed. Okay. In life. Okay. In reality, if you know that, what is this moving target? So it's still a target. It's not that. Okay. I made a target. I skipped it. Okay. It is still a target. You need to keep going, but the moment you are approaching there, because time is changed.

Right. If I have to tell that, you know what, I planned two years back before COVID, now this pandemic has changed everything drastically. I would have been in many people who would have been the clients with whom I am talking to. They are not like very much scattered. And they are like, they don't know how to just deal with it.

Why? Because they had certain target. And now they're feeling the pressure. I say that the life is changing and it's ever going to be changing. And you will also, you are also changing with time, right? So let's not just stick to one, this target, okay. You are going to get into this moving target where when you're approaching things might change.

You also accommodate to that change, right? You are being consistent in doing what, your thing, but everything around you might change. Your story can also change when I say the core will never change, but the way you're presenting, let's say for example, best example, I used to meet people and I had my own way of standing docking, smiling guests.

This is how we used to interact. Now, what has changed? We're meeting people online, via meeting people, via stories or in study, you'll still talk and all that stuff. Not I we are changing, right? We had accommodating to this, but what is the target right now? Target is, has not changed it just moving. It's just taking different shape as both the name, but still the human to human interaction is not going anywhere.

So tomorrow they will also come. Probably I'll also just adjust to just, you know, accommodate the way they are liking it. But ultimately my story will be my story. They'll just change view connection points. Right? So this is what I tell people. The moving target thing let's get comfortable. Just get competent.

It's just a fact of life.

Hilary:

Right. Excellent. And then I had a question. So you talked about like really being authentic is part of that journey to building your trust. And it's like, you know, you need to really strive for doing the a hundred percent of being authentic. And we also just discussed how it's a moving target, even self discovery, even I play, you know, I I'm, I'm in, you know, life goes up and down.

I think I'm in a period of life where I'm doing more self-reflection uh, then I have in the past maybe year or so. And so. When we find after the fact that maybe we've lost some authenticity, maybe we were focused on impressing instead of expressing, maybe we were testing something out, but then we found it didn't quite fit to who we wanted it to be.

What do we do about that? I assume you don't recommend, we just sit there and beat ourselves up for losing that 1%. And now everyone lost that trust. Is there a way to regain that trust back? If we, if we feel in our own selves that maybe there was a little bit of a lapse or, or we've missed being authentic, what do you recommend in that area?

SanJay:

Okay. Okay. I get that point and this is like a, again, a very practical one. Sometime, no that, okay. We want to be authentic. This is what I want to be. But sometime unknowingly, we just drift away from being real. Okay. Maybe it is the pressure from the people around us. We just get into slip into that impression mode.

Okay. So that's a very valid point. It happens all the time and we are not covering, uh, those, uh, people that, who are intentionally doing it. They are just, uh, doing. Uh, you know, I'm not compromising their authenticity. I'm talking about those people, but those people who are want to be authentic, but they are just slipping away in just some distraction or some slip over here and there.

So the difficulty in the self-awareness journey, there are three things which I tell people. So self awareness is this is a vast topic. We just does it on the surface. We haven't talked much about it, but self awareness is a subject on its own, right? It takes ages to, you know, get the clarity. So in self-awareness I talk about this introspection on about you.

Second is inspection inspection is the science helps you with your psychometric tests, your personality tests and all that thing, which is a proven fact, right? So you get inspected by the third one that I want to bring your focus is intervention. Now, what do I mean by intervention? We take feedback.

Because the way we know ourself and the way science tells us that this is what you want. The picture is not complete yet. The people who are around you, they need to reflect on you and say, you know what? You have been so rude that day. And you're like, what? Because this is a fact, there are certain things in life.

We know that we know that certain things we know that we don't know. And there are few few things, which we don't know that we don't know, right. There are blinds, right? So these blind spots, we really need these people who intervene. These people, they will do the intervention, they will reflect on it and they will give you this data, right.

That, you know, you have been doing this. And I think you are not that they're genuine. And then you have been, you know, talking this way, but generally you never speak that way. You said it very loosely that day. So when this data is coming, I would recommend you to have this intervention, take place, get this data, but I kind of want you as well that don't just go out there and give you an ESG.

People will just, you know, mess things up. All right. So you need to create a filter that who are these people with whom I'm going to listen. Okay. Who are the people that have given the permission to intervention on my thing? If you give access to everyone, they will just run over all the place and you are messed up.

Okay. So I think on surface, this is what it is. This is what I have to do.

Hilary:

Excellent. Excellent. And then Heather has a, another great question is what's the difference between being authentic in our messaging and teaching concepts?

SanJay:

Okay. So if I have to say the teaching concept is the act of making the contribution.

Okay. So this is where, this is where you have got something and you're telling people, okay, now let's say, if I'm here, I'm just giving an example that where you can see the authenticity and teaching concepts, basically the connection part and the contribution part is going handbag. Right. So if I'm here and I'm just because I have this thing to tell about the personal branding, but if you would see what fact I'm telling that, no, I have been like, you know, very low in energy and confidence and I've been this and that.

I'm just not making it up. Right. You heard my story of when I just froze in front of my people, the, my bluff people. Right. They wanted me to speak. So then you get into this mode, people will get connection done, and it's like, I'm teaching concepts, but I'm also giving you some authentic data about myself.

Okay. So authenticity is going. So connection is established at least at list established, established, because I'm keep giving something about me and they'll tend to itself. And then I'm just keep on delivering my concepts as well. Okay. So does it make sense that this is how it goes hand to hand? And at the point, if you're not authentic.

Again, I'm just making it up. There's no way to express it or explain it to you, how it, how it happens, but people just don't feel connection. This is how I can put it. I can't tell you, I haven't, maybe haven't gone this much deep in the human brain, understanding what he went brain, but there's no way to explain what happens, but when two human are talking, if it is not authentic, it just somehow don't, you don't get that connection established or people get, just get distracted.

And if they are get distracted, probably they will not get, uh, you know, in a longer connection with you or they will forget about you.

Hilary:

Yeah. And, and then I would add or ask, I guess this is a question on top of it, but I would assume that when we have these authentic messages and these stories, like you weaved your personal story in and out of this presentation, it's very different than if you just came in with the slides and say, this is how you build your personal brand X, Y, and Z.

There you go enjoy, right. It doesn't land as much. It's like cooking food, you know, the teaching concept, it could be like just cooking food and the authentic authenticity in your messaging is the spice that makes the food come alive. Yeah. The food's edible when it's not spiced, but when you actually add the spice and that's when people have these flavors and really enjoy the process of eating, they're not just eating for survival, they're eating for enjoyment and survival.

Right. Would you say that's like the purpose of having this authentic messaging on top of the teaching content?

SanJay:

Yeah, this is what it is, right. This is how it goes, because it's like, uh, I don't know how many people do understand in technical language. Like I've been techie for all my life. So I'm an engineer.

So I, I use a lot of data, this thing, and the moment I get some client who understand technology, I just like, okay, let's do the engineer stuff, right? So we are still dealing with emotions, but in a very technical way. So if I had to tell it this way, connection, let's say, if we are not connected, why this internet doesn't matter how beautiful the message I have, how many teaching concepts I am carrying here, the knowledge has dumped everything.

Forget about it because there's no internet connection, right? It's not leaching, you know, part of it, right? So this is what happens. If there is no authenticity, the connection is like very shaky it. And if it is too fake, people just, just disconnected. And then once it is disconnected, I am just talking on my head, you know, about the magic words that you know, I'm going to change the world.

It doesn't matter. Nobody's. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I have been reading some of the messages and I just, you know, it was just itching to just respond to them. Right. At one of the whim, I just saw that, you know, Jim has said that, you know, there's not even the human brain can tell about that explanation.

That why just the connection, then it doesn't happen. Right. Well, I don't know. But then probably Jim, I would get you in the conversation talking about this human brain stuff. Okay. And as I told you, my purpose or my, this is my passion project, I want to make it so easy and simple so that everybody can talk about it.

You don't need to be a psychologist or a very deep person who understand everything. Right. So I don't know what shape it will come, but it will come for sure. And Jim will be there for sure.

Hilary:

Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, SanJay. Is there anything else you want to add before we close up? I know we're we're over time, but we appreciate so much of this conversation.

It was really, really insightful for myself as well.

SanJay:

Uh, probably, I just want to share one short story because this is just stick in my mind because before coming to the session, I was just going through in LinkedIn and, uh, and this is related to our personal branding stuff as well. So I just want to make people this, uh, uh, to be aware of such thing.

Now, this person, uh, he left his house. He kind of became a monk. Okay. He has like two grownup daughters and family and everything. Now he left his house for 10 years. Okay. But Dell 20, 30 feet, won't be coming back to his family and why he's on the road because he wants to spread the message that, you know, think about the climate he's going to survive on just a solar energy.

Okay. So he's in the caravan, he's surviving and everything. He's away from family. He's going to cities, to cities and meeting people, spreading the knowledge that you know, what be considered of environment. The climate is real. So when he's doing that, he shared that one momentum and there, his caravan met, he was closest to his city.

So his family came to meet him. Okay. He was on this orange dress, you know, the, the, like monk-like dress and family having a good time with his daughter and everything. One of the comment came and the lady said that, you know what, it's your personal thing? Why are you bringing it on the LinkedIn? Probably it is good for Facebook.

Okay. Now this happens all the time. Okay. What I responded to that lady normally. Don't respond, but I was just so connected that this person is doing such a great thing. And this food goes back to this lady as well. She's coming from a ton of school, right. That, okay. This is not for personal thing. So here's a message for all of you, people who are going to bring your personal brand.

Okay. If my message, and this is what I tend to this lady as well, that let's say if I'm the monk and I'm working on this, uh, exploration, that how one can be just themselves and without any, for the noise. Right? So all my work is every day to tune into my feelings, emotions, my behaviors, my, uh, my belongings, my attachments.

That means my family, my failures, everything. Right. So if I'm keep sharing about my, uh, vulnerability, my failures, my family, everything, this is all personal. Right. But at the end, my mission is to help people or inspire people to go deep within and bring that change in the world. So will it fit in professional category or the personal category?

That's the question. And I asked this lady and I just got so many legs and everyone was like, resonated. Yeah. Yeah, you are right. And all those things. Now I just want to share, this is just my perception. You may take a different day, but all the people who want to build this personal brand, I know it is personal.

This is yeah. But there's no such boundary that you know, the personal profession, right? If you think it is going to help people, right? If you think that it is going to make a contribution for that purpose, for that audience, just spread the message out there. I already, there are so many filters. I don't want you to keep another filter by thinking what should go there.

If you think it is going to make a contribution to the world and whatever it is, if you're comfortable, comfortable with it, just share your story, deserves to be told to everyone in this planet. That's all I can say. That beautiful, beautiful ending point though. Sanjay really like, yeah. Everyone's story is deserved to be heard on this planet.

Hilary:

That is just. Love it. Well, thank you so much SanJay. And thank you everyone who attended, who asked your questions, anybody who's watching the replay feel free to ask us questions as well. AndI'll make sure to, um, send them to SanJay and get his input. And again, remember that he has this course coming up on Saturday.

If you want to really dive in to your story and creating your story around your brand. So thank you so much, Sanjay really appreciate having you.

SanJay:

Thank you so very much, Hilary, that those were wonderful questions and the way you get into it, it was actually looking like you having one-on-one conversation.

And I'm just trying to get to, you know, help you with that. So it was wonderful. And I telling you that I really respect and value those questions, which has been coming while I was just talking. I was kind of itching to just go and read them all. Trust me, I'm going to read them all. Okay. I want to respond to each one of you as the time will allow, but thank you so much for being here for listening.

I have read a lot of good things coming in the comment section. It is really appreciate that that makes it a very fun place. Okay. It's not a performance. I'm on the stage of Hilary on the stage and just talking and showing up. It's a conversation. We all are a part of it. So thank you so much for making it a great one.

Hilary:

Awesome. Thank you everyone. Have a great day, evening, wherever you are in the world. Bye bye.

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